Sights Family Weblog

My Brilliant Idea...or so I think

So, I had this idea the other day when it was raining tons.  Wouldn't it be awesome if there was something we could spray onto your car and then when it rained it would activate and wash the dirt off your car?  I am pretty sure that if the Snuggie (brilliant invention by the way) can make it, there are tons of lazy people that would buy it.  I mean really. Think about it.  All you would have to do is spray your car and then the rain would wash it. No work involved. Cheap.  I can totally see the Oxy Clean guy selling it for me on QVC.  So, even if you think this is not the smartest idea, when I make my millions off of lazy people you will be so sorry you didn't invest.  :)

Dumped

I'm not sure exactly how it happened, but I do believe that I was dumped by my doctor today.  He used a really nice phrase that involved these words "facilitate the transition to a more convenient physician".  So, when I said, "Well, I've never been dumped by a doctor before, so how does this work?  Did I upset you or are we good?"  He started kind of stuttering...he said he would be happy to have me continue to be his patient but I obviously have a hard time getting into him.  He basically said that he knew I moved to Wyanet and thought that maybe it would be better if I had a physician closer. Okay. I know that this is the truth, but I really like my doctor.  The problem?  I could never get in to see him when it was convenient for me.  So, I guess he's right. It's kind of like when you have a boyfriend and you know it isn't working, but you dont' really like change, so you don't break up. Well, it was quick. He called me at 6:30 p.m. tonight.  A Friday night.  What kind of doctor does that?  See why I didn't want to change?  Ugh. Now I have to find a new physician that I will actually go to.  And not just call and ask for refills on my prescriptions.  Oh Joy.  I guess now I can say I had a doctor break up with me.  Ha.

New Phrases...totally inappropriate

So yesterday at work, I was kind of grouchy. I know, for those of you that know me, that is a HUGE shock, right?  Quit smiling.  Anyway, there happens to be a girl that moved to our town that used to date Kevin.  So, the DW (we all know what that means) thinks she now needs to keep in touch through Facebook.  Kevin is totally innocent in all of this and to be honest, the poor girl hasn't done anything inappropriate, but why does she need to know how he's been?  Really. So, I was venting about this...after telling Kevin that I don't like her and am now going to start emailing all of the boys I've kissed and see how he likes that!  Did I mention that my doctor has me on these pills that have a ton of hormones for 10 days???  I am so not like this...well...not where anyone knows.  Usually it's all in my head.  Anyway, Tricia, who is soooo funny said that she is a total "Hair Pad". 

What is a "Hair Pad" you might ask.  Let me explain. You know when you are in a public shower (think back to college...or public pool) and you wear flip flops because around the drain is that nasty cluster of hair.  Well, someone has to eventually clean that nastiness out. And when they do, it's kind of in the shape of the drain.  That my friends is a hair pad.  So, that is what I'm calling her now.  Hair Pad.  I like it. 

I also have another story.  In fact, I had to call my friend Kim to tell her about this.  While she was at work.  It was just that funny.  Here's the background.

Did you know there is something called a retracted Penis?  I didn't.  Kim has seen one--because she is fascinated by the weirdest things...and Dr. C.--if you're reading this, I won't use your whole name (for your own protection) you soooo know who I'm talking about.  Anyway, this man needed a urinal, but if you have a retracted penis that is a major problem.  After giggling like a twelve year old about it, I was fascinated and had to look it up.  I'm pretty sure our IT department got this huge red flag like I was looking up porn at work or something.  I told Kevin about this, and he (acting like he knows what he is talking about) says,

"Oh. You mean a Mangina".  That was funny.  Another phrase I'm going to have to use.  My Dad says that when things are missing, women use their Uterus like a honing device.  From now on, I think I'm going to start saying, when men are whining..."He is such a HUGE Mangina".  I like that.  Oh yeah.  That's How I Roll.

Dancing Class

So, one of the girls I work with is taking a dancing class.  And I really want to take one. So, I had mentioned a long time ago that I wanted to do this and Kevin of course said absolutely not.  So, I asked Jeramie.  And at the time it seemed like a good idea. I asked again thinking that when Jeramie got back we could take one.  He was going to think about it.  Now, I am never going to get to take one.  Want to know why??? Because Kevin has this whole theory about what will happen (and I thought I was random) Here it is...

Lots of single girls that think they are going to meet the man of their dreams in a dancing class.

They look across the room and fall madly in love with Jeramie.

Then they have to figure out who I am.

After I explain that I'm his sister in law one of two things happens...either they ask why he's taking the class with me instead of my husband or they think there is something pervy going on with the two of us.  Either way, it is bad.

So, then if they ask why Kevin isn't taking the class and I tell them, they think he's a big jerk...and if he's a big jerk, then they will assume that Jeramie is also a big jerk. OR It never gets to that point because they think Jeramie and I are perverts. Sorry Jeramie...you know we love you, but can you imagine the rumors in Wyanet??? Not to mention I would eventually like a sister in law!

If the class is Ballroom Dancing, Kevin said that most people will assume that Jeramie is gay.  Not the way to meet women.  And if it's something sexier like Salsa, it would make for a really uncomfortable dance class. 

So. Kevin WILL be taking a dancing class with me whether he likes it or not.  Please? Kevin, if you're reading this, you are totally going to have to do this with me! I swear it will be fun.  Jeramie...you're off the hook!

Bicycle Gear

Now that I have my awesome Pink Bike, I think I need a helmet. And a basket. Or burse (bicycle purse) whichever you prefer to call it. Here is an option for the helmet.  Look...people will think that I'm going so fast that my helmet caught on fire...pink fire.  Oh yeah.

 

Then, in white letters on the back, I'll have, "That's How I Roll".  You know, I bet there's a market for these.  Maybe I should sell them!

Now for the basket.  I want one big enough that I can put Toto in it.  That's the dog that I want if my darling husband ever gives in and lets me get a little dog. Here is the one I want...

 
Is that the prettiest bicycle basket ever??? I mean, really.  How awesome is that?

Oh...and here's my bike!

 

Check out the tires.  It rocks!!!  Can you tell I'm excited?  Oh...I thought because it didn't have gears, that would be great...but you know what?  Going up hills without gears...not so great.  Hopefully I'll have the most amazing calves ever! You never know!

PINK BIKE

It's HERE!!! I am going to go out and ride it.  Yeah!!! Pictures later...

My Calling

Today, for work, I went to the South Side Mission to see how we could partner.  I want to start my own mission.  I think I'm doing the wrong thing!  I remember when I was 8 developing, "Friends Helping Friends" and I made a logo and everything. Hey--I admit I wasn't cool.  Basically it was a mission that would help people find jobs and get back on their feet. Now with the world the way it is, I'm wondering if this is what I should be doing. How can I make that happen??? I'm going to work on it. I felt moved today that this is what I should be doing. I am so excited. Now, how can I bring Scrapbooking into it?

Trevor's Getting Older

Last night, Trevor was sooooo excited because we let him go to Baseball Practice by himself. First, we didn't have any bottled water, so I let him walk (he ran) to Casey's to get a water and he spent his own money.  He thought he was quite the man. He ran. I talked to my sister and I am sure that she was right that he was probably excited but scared to death at the same time. I mean...he had to figure out how much something was and if he had enough money.  I made him come home before practice and then he rode his bike and we didn't go.  We are practically the only parents that go to practice anyway and apparently we are getting close to the "My Parents are so not Cool" stage. So, Kevin, being SuperDad said he could go by himself. I on the other hand had to go over the, "Do NOT under any circumstances play near the railroad tracks, go straight there, try hard, blah blah blah". OR ELSE.  I told him he wouldn't know if we would stop by or park far away and watch--or if someone else would tell us what he did.  Sounds a little stalker-ish, but he got the point.  I also said that if we caught him doing something he isn't supposed to I would go out onto the field and spank him in front of ALL of his friends.  And I wonder why we're no longer cool.  He was so proud!  He flew home after practice to give us a play by play. I kind of wish we had been there. Don't like the fact that he is getting older. But, I guess he deserved to do this.  He really is a great kid.  And that's not just because he's mine.

Facebook 50 things...

I was called a dork for these by my husband and brother in law (not my favorite one btw)...Jason appreciates me for who I am...

Once you've been tagged, you have to answer this and tag 15 people, including the person who tagged you.

1. What color is your toothbrush? Pink, duh.

2. Name one person who made you smile today: Lots. But I actually laughed out loud when I heard Brian Emmerson's song when you call his phone...it was "Movin On Up...to the East Side". Are you singing the rest yet???

3. What were you doing at 8 am this morning? Working

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Working.

5. What is your favorite candy bar? Milky Way or Snickers. But once they added more peanuts, I don't love the Snickers as much...

6. Have you ever been to a concert? Yes. What kind of question is that?

7. What is the last thing you said aloud? "Love you"

8. What is your favorite ice cream? Butter Pecan? Oh wait...Chubby Hubby. Now that's some ice cream. And the name is so true. If your husband ate a bunch of it, that's what he'd be. Why don't you call it, "Never Ending Cycle" because you know that there are lots of fat girls out there that eat it (even with the Name warning you not to!) that will get fatter which will make them more depressed which will drive them to eat even more ice cream. It never ends!!!

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? McDonald's Sweet Tea. I think I have a cavity from it. That's what I get for giving up diet coke. Oh the suffering...

10. Do you like your wallet? Yep. It's lime green!!!

11. What was the last thing you ate? Lunch.

12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? Clothing...no. Books, yes.

13. The last sporting event you watched? Sadly, it was Nascar.

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? Light Butter.

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? Kevin at lunch.

16. Ever go camping? Once. Enough said. The air mattress kept deflating and every time I would sit up because I heard one of the coyotes (YES, they were coyotes, NOT a stray dog Kevin), the air matress would force Kevin to sit up too. Everyone next to us heard him tell me to be quiet and go to sleep. Then I hear them laughing. Did I mention the zipper ripped and I thought that the coyotes would get in so I tried to duct tape it??? Didn't work. Woke up with a bunch of spiders above me. Ugh. Did I mention I have to camp again soon? With Scouts? And pretend I enjoy it???

17. Do you take vitamins daily? No. They make me burp.

18. Do you go to church every Sun
day? Yes

19. Do you have a tan? Tan? What is that? Sometimes I get more beige than white. Does that count?

20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza? YES!!!

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? I prefer to if we're out...but it has to have a ton of ice. Which the straw makes the ice much easier to deal with. Sometimes I end up with the ice hitting my face and I spill it all down me. Oh, you know you have done that too...especially with those weird half moon ice cubes. Why is it they are always where you don't want them to be???

22. What did your last text message say? You are such a dork! From Kevin...I want a basket for my new pink bike. Yes, I know. It is a bit dorky. But it will be a "Burse" A Bike Purse. Get it? Yep, newly fashionable. Don't steal my idea. I just patented it! They will be all the rage. I'll make them for scooters too. And four wheelers. And people will buy them because they want to haul their stuff while they are saving money on transportation!

23. What are you doing tomorrow? Working.

25. Look to your left, what do you see? The remote.

26. What color is your watch? Stainless Steel and Pink...see a theme here? My bike is pink too...

27. What do you think of when you hear Australia? Crocodile Dundee

29. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Drive Thru

30. What is your favorite number? 8. I like making two little circles one on top of the other. It used to be 7, but that's everybody's favorite!

31. Who's the last person you talked to on the phone? My Mom

32. Any plans today? Going to dinner.

33. How many states have you lived in? One

34. Biggest annoyance right now? My tooth hurts.

35. Last song listened to? No music that I can remember, but I did listen to CNN on my way home!

36.Can you say the alphabet backwards? Yes, slowly.

37. Do you have a maid service clean your house? Yeah. Me. Not very well either

38. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? None really.

39. Are you jealous of anyone? Sure, sometimes.

40. Is anyone jealous of you? Oh I'm sure they are jealous of my mad cleaning skills

41, Do you love anyone? Of course! Stupid question!

42. Do any of your friends have children? Yes.

43. What do you usually do during the day? Work. Talk.

44. Do you hate anyone that you know right now? No. Feel sorry for? Yes.

45. Do you use the word 'hello' daily? Yes.

46. What color is your car? Red

47. Do you like cats? NO!

48. Are you thinking about someone right now? Yeah, I'm always thinking of people.

49. Have you ever been to Six Flags? Yes

50. How did you get your worst scar? I would say the one from my appendectomy which is a funny story. My Mom thought it was gas so I didn't ask her to take me to the ER, so I called my aunt. They ended up giving me morphine so I was all drugged up (that's my excuse) and I decided it would be a good idea to high five her. I missed! I'm not sure what her excuse was, but she missed too. Morphine was good. It made everything okay...kind of wavy, but in a good way. I am so glad it isn't legal. I would be all morphined up. Can you imagine what I would blog about then??? Just kidding.